Family Dinner: A Stable Force in Times of Change

School's ending, summer's coming: this time of year is a season of change and is often full of transitions. Honestly, this year for me is so full of transitions that my head is spinning. My son turns 18 in a couple of weeks and will graduate from high school. He will attend college over 1,000 miles away, making his journey away from home very real. My middle daughter is graduating middle school, preparing to enter high school. The distance she will travel is also significant. Instead of a short walk to school on a relatively quiet Brooklyn street, her commute to high school will be via subway to that "big city" in Manhattan. And my mother, who is recently widowed, is planning a reverse-retiree move from Florida to Brooklyn this summer, so as to be closer to her only family, me.

All these journeys to and from home, all these big changes, are exciting, but nonetheless a bit scary and unsettling. Change can be hard, especially when the family structure you've been used to for... I don't know, for-EVER, is changing. Add these emotions to the usual end-of-the-year chaos of school picnics, special ceremonies and extra performances, and you've got A LOT GOING ON.

Family dinner is the one thing that gets us through these upside-down times. We still try to have dinner together 4 or more nights a week, no matter how busy we get. It really grounds us all and gives us a center. Weeknights are the best times for us to eat together as a family, though mealtimes get shortened because the older kids need to do homework and the youngest must fit in bath and bedtime by a decent hour. We rarely get our 17 year old to the table on Friday or Saturday night anymore because he has usually has plans with friends.

This holiday weekend, though, many of his friends were away and it was all five of us at the table with no time pressures or places to run off to. We laughed together, shared a huge bunch of fresh lychee nuts,* and had longer after-dinner conversations than we've enjoyed in a while. Though he would never admit it, I can sense my son is already a bit nostalgic for these family times together. I certainly am.

Really delicious fresh lychee nuts

Knowing how much family dinner has meant to me and my children as I approach my 18th year (!) as a parent, I fully support Aviva of The Six O'Clock Scramble in the Family Dinner Challenge. Many of my readers already have regular family dinners, so it's a great way to show the numbers of people who live this lifestyle. For anyone who is interested in making the commitment to family dinner, but need help getting started (or help keeping your efforts going), The Six O'Clock Scramble is offering great resources including a checklist and recipes.

Sign up here to join in! 

The Family Dinner Challenge

Have dinner together at least 3 times a week for 4 weeks by September 2013!

* The funny story behind the overwhelming amount of lychee nuts in our house: This holiday weekend we went to Chinatown to have dim sum as a family; it had been ages since our schedules aligned so we could go together. We got separated from my husband at one point because he left something at the restaurant and had to go back. As the kids and I maneuvered through the crowded streets, every vendor seemed to have fresh lychee nuts. The kids begged to get them, and I hesitated because they are quite expensive, but eventually I said, "Sure." Soon after we caught up with my husband; of course he had bought a big bunch of lychee nuts too! We all laughed about it as my middle daughter observed, "I feel like this would only happen in my family!" Anyone have any recipes?

Family Dinner & Food Revolution Day 2013: Cook It, Share It, Live It

Celebrate real food on May 17, 2013 and every day! Join the movement!

I have been a big fan of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution cause since he started the movement in 2010. This year's theme Cook it, Share it, Live it aptly sums up the enthusiasm for real food and it's a prefect metaphor for how family dinners can reinforce all the sentiments of the Read Food Revolution philosophy.

COOK IT: Real food begins at home with simple delicious and healthy home cooked meals. Did you know that convenience foods don't actually save that much time in the kitchen? According to a recent study, the time saved with convenience foods is minimal, but that "convenience" can actually undermine family dinner. Convenience food supports the notion that everyone can eat their own food whenever they feel like it, rather than having a family meal together. In short, it teaches kids and ourselves that processed food that's "our way" is better than a shared, cooked meal. Read more about it here: The Atlantic: Serving Convenience Foods for Dinner Doesn't Save Time, March 11, 2013

When you cook food for yourself and your family, you end up with healthier, fresher food, where you control the ingredients. If you are shopping and planning well, the overall price of better food is usually far less than a prepared food options.

SHARE IT: Family meals are not strictly about the food served. It is a time to talk, laugh and bond together as a family. Some research suggests that the conversations that happen around the family table are the key ingredient to a child's success at school and in life. By sharing meals, we remember to slow down and enjoy our loved ones. Food Revolution Day is a good reminder that the dinner table can create a shared community, be it with family or with friends and neighbors.

LIVE IT: The Food Revolution is not about a boring, strict regimen of food, with the idea of pushing food that's just "good for you" medicine you have to take. It is about the GOOD LIFE! Real food-- luscious, delicious, fresh and naturally nutritious-- it is the most wonderful stuff in the world and worth celebrating. Join the Food Revolution because you want to embrace the good life!

Celebrate Food Revolution Day on May 17th, 2013 with a great real food family dinner. Try some of these great recipes. 

Check out the Food Revolution website and Facebook page to find special events near you.

The Family Dinner Conference, April 18, 2013: Join the Conversation!

Family dinner can be a surprisingly hot topic of conversation. NPR is currently doing a series about family dinner that is generating a lot of buzz. Many of the profiled families fit a mold that suggests that family dinner nowadays is an impossible dream. Yet listeners and commenters have chimed in and overwhelming gave witness to how family dinner was indeed alive and well at their house. Despite juggling work schedules, kid's commitments and the just "too few hours in a day" issues we all face, many families are finding a way to make family dinner a priority.

So, clearly there's a lot to talk about. This spring, on April 18, 2013 the first ever Family Dinner Conference will be held at New York University's Kimmel Center, organized by my friend Billy Mawhiney from Time at the Table. It will be an excellent place to get the conversation about family dinner going. For parents and educators, this conference is a chance to learn about practical solutions and to forward new ideas. It will be a place to find kindred spirits in our belief in family dinner, while sharing evidence and telling stories about how it's done by busy, modern families across the country.

Starting with the keynote by Jenny Rosenstrach best-selling author of Dinner A Love Story, there will be an all-star line up of authors, bloggers, and nutrition experts, including Aviva Goldfarb of the The Six O'Clock Scramble and Pam Koch of Kids Cook Monday. (See the full schedule here.) The Blog for Family Dinner Team, including Kathleen Cuneo of Dinner Together, Billy, and me, will host a luncheon panel discussion. We will all be presenting and discussing real strategies to make family dinner work. It promises to be a great and inspirational day!

Participants will hear from the entire panel of speakers and will enjoy close-up conversations during the Q&As, lunch and afternoon networking sessions. In the admission price is included a light breakfast, lunch, and an afternoon smoothie bar. Sponsorship opportunities are also available.

Join us at the first Family Dinner Conference in NYC!

The Family Dinner Conference

Thursday April 18,

9:30am-4:30pm

New York University, Kimmel Center

60 Washington Square South

New York, NY 10012

www.familydinnerconference.com

info@timeatthetable.org

347-450-TATT (8288)

The Teen Solution to Family Dinner

In preparing a presentation for high school educators recently, I had a "light bulb" moment. Teens are an untapped resource in the family dinner equation. When we think of family dinner, teenagers hardly even enter into the picture. This may be because they have busy schedules, just like their parents, or perhaps parents of teens have already given up on a family table! But the teenager years are a crucial time where family dinner can really help parents and older kids stay connected. Moreover, teens can help make dinner happen -- the Teen Solution to Family Dinner!

Real Benefits for Teens

Kids, teens and adults who have family dinner regularly report feeling more connected, happier and less stressed. This has a special resonance for teens. I was recently shocked and saddened to learn that 1 in 25 teens has attempted suicide and 1 in 8 has had some thoughts of suicide. Teen mood swings are typical, yet teen depression and other mental health problems are a very real threat that parents and educators need to be attuned to. Just the act of having a few meals together, at any time of day, can bring this crucial connection. Family dinner has been shown to be a positive behavioral therapy for teens with eating disorders, substance abuse problems, and other mental health issues.

Furthermore, teens actually like having dinner with their families, despite the stereotypes. They appreciate having a regular time with parents and they report eating more healthful foods with the family. As Tara Parker-Pope, reported in The New York Times Well Blog, a few years ago, even people working in the field can forget.

Despite her research, Dr. Neumark-Sztainer was surprised when her own son was interviewed by a local television station about the family’s regular Friday night meal. A senior in high school at the time, he told the reporter, “I like that my parents expect me to be home, because it makes me feel important.’’

Real Help from Teens

The number one complaint from parents about family dinner is the time it takes to put dinner on the table. The light bulb moment came when I read that one of teens' biggest frustrations was that parents did not let them help more in the kitchen! Clearly, this is a potential win-win for parents and teens. Depending on where you live, teens can help shop, prep for, and/or cook dinner for their families, in addition to the more traditional role of cleaning up. Even if it is just once or twice a week, letting your teen take charge of dinner could mean the difference between having dinner together or not. Actually taking responsibility for making the family meal can be a great way to bolster self-confidence and self-esteem. Teens hate doing "busy-work" and may actually be more willing to cook for the family (an important job) rather than taking out the garbage (easier, but a more menial task).

The teenage years are an excellent time to learn cooking as a real-life survival skill. Unlike grade school children, where cooking is solely "fun," teenagers will actually be cooking for themselves in just a few years. I cooked dinner for my family while my mom worked nights, and I think that's where my confidence in the kitchen came from. I cooked meals throughout college to save money and was often surprised that other people didn't know how to cook. Though I'm able to make much more sophisticated meals now, I started with serving my mom's pre-made crock-pot dinners and re-heating frozen vegetables.

As the mom of two teens, I know having your teen cook dinner might be a hard sell; it definitely depends on the personalities involved. You may even have to scale back your own expectations about what constitutes dinner. (In an article from last year, My Sons, the Sous-Chefs, a NYT writer humblebrags about her sons cooking full meals and manage to critique their technique at the same time!)

What do you think? Is it possible to have teens or tweens actually make family dinner? Would this help your family eat together more often?

New Year: Looking Forward on Family Dinner and more

Goodbye 2012, you son of a bitch.
-- My good friend Julian Fleisher's Facebook reflection on New Year's Eve. Yes, it got a lot of "Likes."

With the Hurricane Sandy disaster and the tragic killings in Sandy Hook, the end of 2012 has surely been one of the more difficult times in recent memory. I remember when 9/11 happened; it stopped me in my tracks. As the parent of young children, as a New Yorker, as a professional and political person (I was teaching Public Policy at NYU that year), 9/11 turned my world-view upside down, even though I wasn't "personally" affected. This fall felt a bit like a flashback of that terrible fall 11 years ago. Though I feel deeply lucky and grateful that my family and loved ones are safe and sound, I was still struck by a need to reflect, take stock, and brood over what next steps I should or could take in light of these events.

I haven't been posting very much, in part because I have felt torn. So many of my emotions and thoughts were tied up in issues that were only tangentially related to family dinner, if at all. As a country, we need sane gun control. As world citizens, we must confront and act on climate change. As members of our community, we must look for ways to keep making a difference and help each other, neighbor by neighbor. On a personal level, I knew what to do: give time, give money, give blood, share a political petition or two, give some more money. But, other than a prompt to discuss these matters at the dinner table, how would those topics fit into this blog on family dinner?

Promoting family dinner and spreading the word about healthy eating at home and at school is still at the core of my work and advocacy. But there's a wider universe of solutions that can improve public health and the well-being and resiliency of children and adults in my community. In addition to nutrition and access to good food, we can and should talk about ideas like livable streets, urban gardening, green infrastructure, and ways to support children and adults with better education, safe streets and more economic opportunity.

I am pushing back against my old habits of dividing my alliances, which started back in middle school. I didn't think my "nerdy" school friends could possibly relate my "cooler" neighborhood friends, so I always tried to keep them separate. I've been inadvertently doing that by keeping my community activism separate from my work in promoting healthy food and family dinner. Foolishness really; it is all more connected that we realize. As this world of expanded social networks shows us, more is more. More friends, more connections, more topics clashing is not something to be afraid of. Synergies and big ideas are only possible when you mash-up unexpected skills, talents, and interests. I hope to do more of that this year, both online and off; I'll just have to try to figure out how.

Here's my idea for new beginnings in 2013: I'll keep the Eatdinner.org blog and the Eatdinner Facebook page focused specifically on healthy eating and the benefits of family dinner. I'll not shy away from my opinions on more diverse topics on Twitter (@eatdinner) or in person. I hope you'll continue to follow me in all these venues and that we can continue our conversations and debates together and learn from each other.

Despite the heartbreaks of 2012, in this new year, I am looking forward. I am re-thinking how to best channel my passions and advocacy into making the world, especially my local community, a better place. I am actively seeking opportunities to improve my community in Brooklyn and New York City--if you live or work nearby, I'd love to connect with you to discuss specific projects, or maybe just have coffee. If we already know each other in the blogosphere or from the neighborhood, feel free to connect with me via LinkedIn. Of course I'd love to have you follow me here, on Facebook, or Twitter.

Here is to a bright, happy and healthy 2013!

Thanks Sheryl Sandberg for Taking Family Dinner "Out of the Closet"

Family dinner has come up again in the news, this time thanks to Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO, who has come out publicly to declare that "Yes," she makes time for family dinner.  It is interesting that she said she's been doing it for years, both when she was at Google and now at Facebook, but has only recently "come out" for family dinner publicly. What a powerful statement! First, that you would have to "come out" to say that you leave the office at 5:30pm so you can have family dinner (and that it is big news with over 1,000 shares on Huffington Post). And second, that one of the leading business people in America can say that finding regular time for your family is important and priceless, and that it is important for women, and men, to agree to do it.

Sheryl Sandberg: Leaving Work At 5:30pm

I often get distinct reactions when I talk about family dinner. Some people treat my advice to try family dinner as something akin to suggesting they build a spaceship and take it to the moon -- it just seems like an impossible task! Other people whisper to me in hushed tones, "We have family dinner most nights a week, but I never really talk about it. It's great that you are actually talking about it." Their tone suggests that they are slightly embarrassed about making family dinner a priority and actually pulling it off regularly. There is a (genuine) concern that if you are committed to family dinner you must be

• hopelessly old-fashioned, 
• willing to commit career suicide, 
• have live-in help, 
• have a lot of time on your hands. 
• Or maybe all of the above.

I know from talking with dual-income working families across the country that family dinner is a way of life for many and not rocket science. But in certain circles, family dinner is totally "in the closet" and is some kind of mystery that men and women are reluctant to even discuss. I'm glad Sheryl Sandberg's statements are bringing out more discussion on family dinner so we can talk about the hows and whys to make it a reality. (Some of my own tips are here and Blog for Family Dinner is a great resource for stories about how real families are making it work.)

I applaud Sheryl Sandberg for coming out for family dinner. Will you? The first step to making family dinner a reality is the commitment. Talk with your family about what small steps you could take. Can you try for family dinner 2 or more nights a week? Can you build up from wherever you start? What would it take to put that together? Talking to your boss, doing more meal planning, reducing out some after school or evening commitments? Make the commitment and follow through. Just like you do at work everyday.

Can Family Dinner "Trend" in 2012?

The year started off right as family dinner was cited by The Hartman Group as a leading trend for 2012. I am all for "rediscovering" family meals as a simple but powerful step toward better health and wellness. It is what I truly believe in and advocate for everyday. Yet, I have to think: How can we make "family dinner" a real trend, not just an empty marketing slogan?

First, let's keep it real and inspire and support families to make this commitment to family meals, not just set up more guilt or blame for busy families. Just start where you are and resolve to make it work for your family, even if you have to start with super-small steps. Time at the Table has a family dinner pledge you can take and just once a week is a starting point!

With that in mind, I am proud to join with Blog for Family Dinner as we encourage families to recommit to family meals in the new year. B4FD will be posting articles all month to inspire you and give advice about how to make family meals a meaningful, and manageable, and part of your life.

A few more places to find New Year's inspiration:

• Spirit Magazine (the in-flight magazine of SouthWest airline) has a great article, Tell Me Something, with lots of fun tips and advice on starting the new year out right, including a long quote from me about the benefits of family dinner. Scroll down for section: Is there a Simple Way to Keep My Family Happy and Healthy?

• The Lunch Tray, Bettina Elias Siegel: My 2012 Food Resolutions

• New Year, New Beginnings on Family Health Habits, Guest Blog by Connie Evers, TruthOnHealth.org

• She Know Parenting: Family New Year's Resolutions

• New Year's Resolutions for Your Family, About.com Tween Guide by Jennifer O'Donnell

Please share any posts or ideas about recommitting to family dinner in the new year in the comment section or on the Facebook pages for EatDinner.org or Blog for Family Dinner. We are creating a broad community to chat about these issues and would love to hear your voice.

Happy New Year and here's to a happy and healthy 2012 with a "family dinner" at every table!

Join us for a Food Day Dinner Party!

Food Day is this Monday, October 24 and it's being touted as an Earth Day for food. There are over 2,000 events planned nationwide to celebrate real food and all the interconnections of real food, the food system, family, community, personal health and a healthier environment. It's a pretty exciting concept for anyone who, like me, cares about food, family, public health or public policy. How can you get involved?

Three Easy Ways to Get Involved in Food Day

1. Sign the Pledge

2. Find a local event near you.

3. Join us for a virtual #FoodDay #DinnerParty! (Or make your own!)*

I happen to be doing all three and I hope you'll join me in a virtual Food Day Dinner Party. Bri of Red, Round, Green has invited Bettina of The Lunch Tray, Jeanne of The Jolly Tomato and myself to join her in a virtual progressive dinner of real food recipes to celebrate Food Day over the week from 10.24 to 10.27. Monday will be our kick off with appetizers, followed by an entree on Tuesday, sides on Wednesday and dessert on Thursday. The whole idea is to keep thinking about and celebrating real food throughout the week, and maybe even the whole year!

Come join us for our Dinner Party, starting at The Lunch Tray on Monday, 10.24. You can add your own recipe ideas or thoughts on family dinner or real food and be entered to win some fun give-aways.

You can also host your own at-home dinner party and use the Food Day Dinner Kit (pdf) to spark discussion around the family dinner table.

*If you are a food blogger and want to share a recipe or story about Food Day on your own site, please let me know. Add your name and link to the comment section below and I'll do a round-up on all the bloggers who are doing real food menus in honor of Food Day. Use the hashtags #FoodDay #DinnerParty to spread the word.

See you at the party!

Free downloads and Information on the Food Day Resources Page

Blog for Family Dinner Food Day Press Release

Celebrate Family Dinner with #B4FD Teleseminar

Yesterday my B4FD colleague Kathleen Cuneo hosted a great teleseminar on "all things family dinner" to celebrate and promote the launch of Family Dinner Month (9.26-10.24.11) on the Blog for Family Dinner. It was great to be joined by Billy Mawhiney of Time at the Table, Aviva Goldfarb of The Scramble, Jennifer Schiff from The Family Dinner Book, and John Sarrouf from The Family Dinner Project.

Celebrate Family Dinner with #B4FD Teleseminar, 9.20.11 (audio recording)

We talked about current research in the field, including many studies that show that family dinner and communal eating is not just for kids. Indeed, everyone benefits, including parents, couples without children, seniors, and even college-aged students. We talked about tips and time-savers, like meal planning and getting everyone to chip in, and overall, about how best to make the commitment to family dinner.

A big theme was re-defining family dinner so that it works for you. Don't be intimidated by the rosy, nostalgic idea that family dinner has to be a 3 course meal with homemade apple pie at the end (though that's always nice!) A realistic weeknight meal is more like soup and salad, easy one-pot meals, or quick pasta dishes. What is important, really, is finding time together and making the family table a safe, consistent gathering place. Setting a routine and sticking to it helps, be it 3 days a week or every single day.

The teleseminar will be available for listening (free) on the Blog for Family Dinner website through the month promotion (now until October 24, 2011) and also available to subscribers of Kitchen Table Parents.

If you believe in family dinner, please be sure to add your name to our subscriber list and to follow our blog posts next month. You can also check in with Facebook or Twitter (@blog4famdinner). More ideas to spread the word about #B4FD here. Thank you for your support!

Back to School, Back to the Family Table (#B4FD)

September is "Family Dinner" month which is perfect timing in one sense: as kids get back to school, we naturally begin to re-think routines and priorities. Yet, it is terrible timing in another sense: the fall is often crammed with new schedules, new transitions and new commitments. This may be the busiest time of year, and without a clear plan, family dinner may be the first thing to go or the last thing you want to add to a crammed schedule. Nonetheless, when the crazy-iness dies down, family dinner can be there to provide structure and sanity, and to give you and your kids a good foundation all year.

Remember, family dinner is not bad-tasting medicine. It can combine family connectedness, laughter, and even healthy, delicious food--what's bad about that? Family dinner is also one of the only public health solutions that has ever been shown to have consistent positive effect on multiple health and social issues, such as obesity, underage alcohol and drug abuse, social disconnectedness, low school performance, and unhealthy relationships to food.

That's why Joseph Califano set up Family Day with CASA over ten years ago, and celebrated this year on Monday, September 26, 2011. After a lifetime of studying health problems, including the debilitating affects of drug and alcohol abuse, he wanted to trumpet family dinner as a positive step that every family could take. In 2011, my colleagues and I are spreading the word and connecting with families in a new way: Blog For Family Dinner, a month-long promotion from September 26 to October 24, 2011. We know that drug abuse prevention is not the only "good thing" that comes from family dinner. There are a whole host of "here and now" reasons as well as other long-term benefits to family meals and family connectedness.

I hope you will join us in the Family Dinner movement by supporting and following the B4FD project. Talk about family dinner with your friends and colleagues, talk about what it means to you, how you make it work, what challenges you face, and offer support and lend advice to one another. Sharing ideas and excitement can help you make the commitment to family dinner.

Read more about the importance of fitting family dinner into the back-to-school routine in this profile:

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? by Kim Seidel, Fall 2011

Cherish Family and Family Dinner (#afundforjennie)

Not too long ago, I wrote a post called "Why Family Dinner" which outlined many of the "big reasons" why family dinner is important, such as reducing childhood obesity, preventing alcohol and drug abuse among teens and helping people see value in real food and sustainable food systems. The post title leaves off the question mark because I was making a statement, rather than posing a question: family dinner matters and here's why.

Recently, I've been reminded of the small miracle of family dinner and what it means simply to the people sitting around the table. It means everything.

Many of us have been shocked and saddened by Jennifer Perillo's story of the sudden death of her beloved husband Mikey. Even in her grief, she has managed to find the courage to write beautifully about him and the life they had together, a life that was clearly full of love, good food, family and many dear friends. She has somehow found the grace to inspire us and remind us to take the time to hug close our loved ones, to cherish every moment.

There is no better reason than this for family dinner.

The blogger community has responded overwhelmingly to show Jennie love and support. (A short summary is on Storify.) Thousands of well-wishes have been sent via Twitter, hundreds of comments have been made on many beautiful memorial blog posts, and countless homemade peanut butter pies (#apieformikey) were baked and shared with loved ones.

Now, Bloggers Without Borders, a new non-profit collaboration by Maggie of Three Many Cooks, Erika of The Ivory Hut, and Aimee of Simple Bites is harnessing that virtual love into something more tangible. Their "A Fund for Jennie" project (#afundforjennie) is collecting donations (through auctions and direct contributions) to help Jennifer and her young children with needed financial assistance. I am honoring Jennie and the memory of Mikey with a donation. I encourage you to do so as well. Just click the button below or go to the BwoB website for more details. Every little bit will help.

Bloggers Without Borders How to Help

Thank you!

Why Family Dinner

Why family dinner? With all the problems in the world, really, why focus on family dinner? Even if you were to restrict your view to all the food-related problems in the world, there are so many to choose from: hunger, obesity, pesticides in food, E.coli contamination, unsafe and environmentally unsound food production practices, to name just a few. So why, of all things, would you focus on family dinner?

I focus on family dinner because it is a solution. It is actually one of the only solutions that has ever been shown to have a consistent and positive effect on multiple health and social issues such as  obesity, underage alcohol and drug abuse, social disconnectedness, low school performance and unhealthy relationships to food.

The research shows that families that eat dinner together do, in fact, eat better. They tend to eat more fruits and vegetables, and all members of the family are less likely to be obese. The direction of causality is unclear, but I think that once you make the commitment to eating dinner together as a family, you naturally start cooking more and making better health choices. There seems to be something about the ritual and routine of family dinner that supports healthier choices.

Plus, family dinner is not  a bad-tasting medicine. Once you get into the groove, it's actually fun and rewarding for adults and children alike to have regular meals together. A public health intervention that involves family connectedness, laughter and the potential of healthy delicious food? Where do I sign up?

Another reason to promote family dinner is because buying, cooking and serving food to your family directly connects to many broader economic, social and health issues. The promotion of family meals, then, can indirectly increase awareness about important related food and health issues. As I argued recently, once people are sitting down around the table and give a damn about what they are eating, you have a far greater pool of folks for which "good food" matters. Step by step, people become more aware of issues with the food system and the environment. Then, perhaps, they will be ready to advocate for better safeguards and subsidies and to vote with their wallets for better food for their families. Family dinner can be an important first step.

So can family dinner be a movement? Can more people see family dinner as a cause? There are so many wonderful food bloggers out there, many of them tacitly promoting family dinner with home-cooked food everyday. Working the other side of the issue, there are public health and environmental policy advocates tirelessly trying to bring attention to the threatened food system from government regulators, Big Food, Agri-business, and the press. Then there are nutritionists, school food reformers and community gardeners who have there own take on a common theme:  good food can solve problems. Family dinner can be both a tool for change and an umbrella under which like-minded reformers can find common ground.

The call for family dinner can seem simplistic to some, but sometimes simple solutions work. Join us in supporting family dinner: leave a comment, follow by email (box on side bar), or follow us on Twitter @eatdinner. 

Parents as Real Food Advocates? More Thoughts on Family Dinner and the Food System

One of the hot topics among slow food/real food/sustainable food (take your pick of labels) advocates is how to expand their message broadly and fight the "elitist" label that only the super-rich could care about sustainable food practices. As I wrote in a post last week, I think taking the message to families is one way to do it. With eatdinner.org, I am most interested in helping support families so they will start eating meals together, without too many rules or caveats. But I am often asked, "What's more important: the food or the family?" The truth is, they are wed pretty tightly. Family dinner is often the first step in a progression: from family dinner comes an interest in healthy eating and home cooking, from this comes an appreciation of better nutrition and real food, which ties into reductions in obesity. The next steps could easily be better understanding and support of a sustainable and safe food system. 

More people eating "family dinner" means:

more people that come to the table,
more people that care about food,
more people that know about food,
more people that eat better,*
more parents teaching kids about healthy choices,
more people that vote with their wallet and their forks to affect change in the food system.

So, family dinner is both a first step and a platform. The slow food movement will mean something to parents who are already invested in serving their families nutritious foods at shared meals. Reaching out to parents and families will not only expand the slow food audience, but it will combat charges of elitism. 

Researching these issues, I stumbled across a couple of great slow food projects: The Perennial Plate, by Daniel Klein and Mirra Fine, a online video documentary of weekly sustainable food adventures in Minnesota that is now launching a nationwide a road trip, and 100 Days of Real Food by Lisa Leake who challenged herself to feed her family "real food" for over 100 days.  While the documentary filmmakers are indeed inspiring, very few of us in the trenches with kids could or would launch such a drastic life change. But Leake's model is more do-able for a family, and in some ways, more instructive. How can you make changes today to  embrace a commitment to real food, and in the end, make more healthy choices for your family?  I was particularly inspired by her stint of serving real food on a budget of only $125 a week for a family of four. I am also excited by Food Day, which seems to be reaching out to a broad audience, as an Earth Day for food. I hope these efforts will bring families into the "slow food" fold, so that they can eat better for themselves and they can advocate for a better food system for all.

More resources for Slow Food and a Sustainable Food System
SlowFood USA, an organization to promote slow food
Food Day.org, an organization to promote "real food" advocacy
100 Days of Real Food on Civil Eats, May 5, 2011
Fair Food, a new book by Oran B. Hesterman on positive ways to change to food system. 

*Recent coverage of new meta-analysis on the health benefits of family dinner
CNN Health
Pediatrics Article May 2, 2011

How to Change the Food System? One Table at a Time

Yesterday, an important discussion took place on the issues of safe food, sustainability and health of our people and our planet with a conference called "The Future of Food" held in Washington, DC (archive of video highlights here). In February, there was a TEDx Manhattan conference on the food system called "Changing the Way We Eat" (archive here) that touched on related topics and the intermingling of ecology, health, politics, and economics. There are a lot of amazing people who care about food and health that are bringing up hard questions about our current food system and how we can feed the nation and the world without sacrificing individual health, public health or the health of our planet.

At the Future of Food conference, stalwarts of the food movement Wendell Berry, Wes Jackson, and Prince Charles of Wales (who knew?) gave their perspectives on the long road we have traveled and the long road ahead. On hand were a wide range of advocates (Josh Veritel of Slow Food USA, Laurie David, who is extending her environmental activism to the dinner table and to advocacy against antibiotics in meat, Marion Nestle, leading nutritionist and founder of Food Politics) and journalists (Joe Yonan of The Washington Post, Tom Philpott, Jane Black, and Paula Crossfield and Naomi Starkman of Civil Eats) who called out, via twitter and in person, big food on their arguments about the economic necessity of big-AG techniques and policies all day.

Following along at a distance, the conference was inspiring, enlightening, and, at times, infuriating in the ways that listening to the church choir might be when you are living in the red-light district. How can good food advocates get the message out more broadly that safe, good food is not a luxury, but a necessity? Furthermore, as Eric Schlosser argued in the Washington Post this week, how can we get across that being a "foodie" is not elitist?

The soapbox I stand on is family dinner, but I do believe that the future of the food lies around the family dinner table. Michael Pollan put it simply as "More and more, I realize our food problem is a cooking problem."  Caring about what we put on the table for our families and knowing how to prepare real food are two of the first steps to changing the food system. Caring about getting to the table in the first place may indeed preempt that. We need to embrace a culture where the time spent to shop, cook, and eat together as a family is viewed as essential, not a luxury. Family dinner can consist of two roommates, a single parent and kids, a large brood of multiple generations, or any other configuration you can think of, as long as they are breaking bread together. We need to to value this simple act and get around a table together, if we are to ever change the way we eat.

Agenda and Speakers for The Future of Food Conference, May 2011

Changing the Way We Eat, TEDx Manhattan, Feb 2011

FoodDay.org, an event to celebrate the food movement and inspire families and communities to commit to real food.

Survey Says: What do you Think About Family Dinner?

Click here to take The Family Dinner Survey

One of the goals of eatdinner.org is to understand the challenges of families coming together at the table and to provide resources to help and support them. Our Family Dinner Survey has just been launched and is designed to collect information from parents, and anyone else who takes the time to sit down at the table for dinner, about the biggest challenges they face to making dinner happen. The survey also collects information on why family dinner is important and the best strategies that people use to accomplish it night after night. We know, family dinner is an accomplishment!

The survey is available online and I'm also collecting data at several family workshops held in New York City. Thanks to friends like Time at the Table, we are able to gather information from workshops being held throughout the country. Please let me know if you'd like a copy of the Family Dinner survey to share at your own workshop or meetings. Since the survey brings up topics of healthy eating, daily family challenges and positive strategies like menu planning and cooking, it's a great starting off point to get people thinking about issues that might be relevant to your workshop.

Please feel free to share this survey widely (share this link http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GBR78C5) or contact me offline to discuss using a paper survey in your work (Email me: grace [at] eatdinner [dot] org). Thank you!

The survey is completely confidential and the data will be aggregated to show trends in opinions, not any one person's opinion or experience. 

Family Dinner as One Solution to Childhood Obesity: Vote for us on The Hive

Eat Dinner As a Family! My proposal (naturally) on Slate's The Hive: Time to Trim.

Slate is highlighting the issue of childhood obesity and is currently soliciting "brilliant ideas" to combat the problem on The Hive. The data are real and frightening, and this epidemic is not going to be solved by silly disputes over bake sales. Real change in how people eat, exercise and live their lives is needed and, no doubt, many solutions should come into play to address this complex problem.

Change can begin almost immediately, though, at the dinner table. It can change how we teach children about food and the importance we put on the communal meal. Frequent family dinners have been associated with better nutrition (more consumption of fruits and vegetables), better body weight management for kids and adults, and less "disordered" eating. By finding effective ways to promote and support family dinner, we can help parents create healthy life-long eating habits for themselves and their kids. Engaging and empowering parents will go a long way in this fight against childhood obesity.

I believe in the power of family dinner and in the power of parents to make the right choices given adequate information and support. That's what eatdinner.org is all about.

Please read my proposal and VOTE! Spread the word about family dinner!

Dear Pete Wells ("Cooking with Dexter"): Family Dinner Is Worth It.

Pete Wells has written a great column for the New York Times called "Cooking With Dexter" that I loved mainly because he seemed like a real Dad investigating the world of the kitchen with his son Dexter. He wrote warmly of the new discoveries that father and son would make in the kitchen, about food, about themselves. Wells wrote his last column this week and is off to other projects. I'm sad to see the column go, but his last missive really hit home for other reasons.


Wells talks to the real and true challenges of getting dinner on the table every night as a dual working parent family, and then, kind of shrugs it off as too damn hard. ARGH! I understand his struggles, I do. But I also want to shout: "No, no, no!" Family dinner can be admittedly damned hard, but it is worth it. 


One of the messages of eatdinner.org is not to expect perfection and not to be so hard on yourself, but to make a commitment to family dinner. You have to find the right balance for your family, and that balance is going to change over time, as work demands change and as your kids grow. When your kids are little, it is honestly the hardest time to get dinner on the table in a timely fashion before they unravel. The strategy in our family is to have healthy snacks available and to have many 20-minute dinners under our belts. As the kids get older, the routine and expectation of family dinner, be it with both parents or only one, will be the touchstone of their lives, and yours. Don't give that up. Cut yourself some slack, but keep plugging away.

I was encouraged, though, by the numerous commenters on the NYT site (well over 100), many who call Wells to task. The sentiments were, basically, "Hey, Pete, family dinner is well worth it and here are some things we do in our family that can help." I love that so many people wanted to help Wells and his family with practical strategies and advice. This is the conversation that we need to be having: what can busy parents do to help make this thing work. I also think we need a national conversation about a life-work balance that allows enough flexibility for parents to make a dinner commitment with their families. But that's another story.

Thanks to The Lunch Tray who wrote a blog post (2.21.11) that paralleled many of my feelings and spurred me to write my own response here. (Through the time shifting force of the Internet, I actually read the Wells' Sunday piece on Friday, and tweeted about it, but hadn't gotten my thoughts together enough to respond. And of course the kids are off school this week!)

Family Dinner Love for Valentine's Day

This year, Valentine's Day is on the most un-romantic day of the week--Monday. But if you have kids at home, it's a good excuse to make this Valentine's Day a family affair. Family dinner is the ultimate big hug to give to your loved ones. 

Here's a round up of some great Valentine's Day recipes that are easy enough for a weeknight treat. (See also a "vintage" eatdinner post:  We "Heart" Family Dinners and be sure to schedule a date night over the weekend!)

Some favorite Valentine's Day links and recipes:

Create Holiday Traditions, Valentine's Day edition, Kristin Uhrenholdt The Family Dinner Cookbook Blog. 02.08.11

I Heart You Fresh Strawberry Smoothie for Kids by Kathy Patalsky on The Family Kitchen, Babble, 02.11.11

Dessert (For Breakfast or Dinner!) Strawberry Shortcake Waffles from The Naptime Chef on The Family Kitchen, Babble, 02.11.11

Naturally Sweet DYI Valentines from One Hungry Mama, 02.06.11 (She's got other great treats too in Valentine's section.

Valentine's Day WITHOUT Food Coloring, The Jolly Tomato 02.10.11

Not Just a U.S. Problem: Thoughts on the Global Obesity Crisis

The U.S. has an obesity problem, no doubt about it. It is a large and growing problem that some are taking very seriously (thank you Michelle Obama and Let's Move) and others are ignoring or downplaying. What may be surprising, though, is that the U.S. is not alone. According to a recently released Lancet, worldwide obesity has doubled since the 1980s and now 1 in 9  people worldwide are obese.

In fact, the largest rates of increase in obesity (that is, the highest rate of change not the total number) is in countries where rapid changes in economic development and industrialization are happening, like the Middle East, Latin America, and parts of Asia.  The reasons behind this are complex, and not dissimilar to issues in the U.S.: increased access to low-cost, low-nutrient processed foods, less time at home for traditional meals, more TV and computer use and less physical activity, both at work and for leisure.

"A 2004 [World Health Organization] study shows that obesity rates in China, Brazil, Morocco, Thailand, and Mexico are all increasing at a faster pace than rates in the U.S." Benjamin Caballero of the Center for Human Nutrition at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, "Obesity—A Global Perspective," presented at the NYAS 12.10.10.

Widespread changes in food availability, food quality and cost greatly influence eating behaviors. Food Econ 101 says that cheap prices lead to high consumption. Throughout the world there has been a rapid decrease in the cost of carbonated, non-alcoholic beverages and of vegetable oils (a key ingredient to processed foods),  while there has been an increased cost of fresh fruits and vegetables. The result is high calorie intake that way out-balances high nutrient intake in the average diet. With high rates of obesity come high rates of disease-related illness. The highest worldwide prevalence of diabetes is in India and China, with the U.S. third. (NYAS, Super-Sized World Conference Report) 

Some of the poorest nations are actually facing twin-crises of hunger and obesity, where children are hungry and under-nourished but adults are obese (and perhaps hungry too.) This is also a problem in the U.S. where families that are "food insecure" struggle both with hunger and health problems due to poor food choices and food availability, as I have posted previously here.

What does this have to do with family dinner? Well, it is evidence that the challenges are great and the tools are few. One tool that is often overlooked is family dinner. It is overlooked by policymakers and public health researchers and it is overlooked by families. Family dinner has been shown to help families eat better and be less at risk for obesity, as well as a myriad of other social and health problems, like depression and underage drinking. It is not the only solution, but it is one of those "small steps" that you, as an individual, can change right now. And to policymakers and others, I say, support families with food and economic policies that can make healthy family meals and food choices easier. Guilt and blame will not be effective to spur long-standing health changes. Globally and nationally, we have a lot of work to do, but at home, it can be as simple as making a commitment to family dinner.

References and more reading:
First Lady Taking Health Work Global, NYT 02.08.11
GOOD Feast Your Eyes:  Visualization of BMI by country using data from Lancet. 02.09.11
The Obesity-Hunger Paradox, NYT 03.12 11
Super-Sized World Conference Report, New York Academy of Science, 12.10.10 (some data may be members only)
The 30 Project by Ellen Gustafson

Friday Fan Club: Great Blogs for Family Dinner Recipes

For some people, the hardest part of family dinner is the dinner part. Knowing what to cook and having the confidence to prepare a meal can be a huge stumbling block. I'm preparing for several workshops on healthy eating this spring, and I want to collect the best resources to share with families to promote family dinner. One thing I'm creating is a list of some of my favorites food blogs that focus on family-friendly meals. By "family-friendly," I don't mean bland and boring, I mean "done in 30 minutes and on the table"!  I also mean, realistic for food budgets, cooking skills, nutrition and tastes, but still featuring real food that home cooks can accomplish on a daily basis. All these blogs fit the bill with inspiring recipes and tips that are do-able for time-strapped parents. As far as I know, all of these blogs are written by real parents who cook for their families. You can do it too!


Great Blogs for Family Dinner Recipes:
The Family Dinner Book. By Laurie David. This website, based on her book, has lots of resources, recipes and links to keep family dinner and the conversations with your kids flowing. I am honored to occasionally guest blog for the site.
TheScramble.com  byAviva Goldfarb, author of The Six O'Clock Scramble and other great cookbooks
Dinner: A Love Story: Great Stories, Great Recipes
One Hungry Mama: Recipes for Kids and their Food-loving Parents, Babies, Toddlers, and up.
What's Cooking with Kids: More than recipes, a lot of great info and insight on cooking with your kids and making a difference
Simple Bites: Articles, Recipes, and Fun Tips on Healthy Eating
The Jolly Tomato Family Food News and Recipes
In Jennie's Kitchen and Simple Scratch Cooking Recipes may be a bit more intensive than some, but real cooking is worth it!
The Naptime Chef This mom has accomplished a lot during naptime! Great recipes and inspiration.

I'd love to feature more blogs that can help with family dinner.  Let me know if you have a blog to share (even your own!) and I'll consider adding it to the list. (And, if you like any of these blogs, send the author some love via the comments section! Bloggers love that, really!)


More Blog additions:
Take Back Your Table
Food for my Family
Feed our Families
Little Locavores, by Melissa Graham, Founder of Purple Asparagus