Thanks Sheryl Sandberg for Taking Family Dinner "Out of the Closet"

Family dinner has come up again in the news, this time thanks to Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO, who has come out publicly to declare that "Yes," she makes time for family dinner.  It is interesting that she said she's been doing it for years, both when she was at Google and now at Facebook, but has only recently "come out" for family dinner publicly. What a powerful statement! First, that you would have to "come out" to say that you leave the office at 5:30pm so you can have family dinner (and that it is big news with over 1,000 shares on Huffington Post). And second, that one of the leading business people in America can say that finding regular time for your family is important and priceless, and that it is important for women, and men, to agree to do it.

Sheryl Sandberg: Leaving Work At 5:30pm

I often get distinct reactions when I talk about family dinner. Some people treat my advice to try family dinner as something akin to suggesting they build a spaceship and take it to the moon -- it just seems like an impossible task! Other people whisper to me in hushed tones, "We have family dinner most nights a week, but I never really talk about it. It's great that you are actually talking about it." Their tone suggests that they are slightly embarrassed about making family dinner a priority and actually pulling it off regularly. There is a (genuine) concern that if you are committed to family dinner you must be

• hopelessly old-fashioned, 
• willing to commit career suicide, 
• have live-in help, 
• have a lot of time on your hands. 
• Or maybe all of the above.

I know from talking with dual-income working families across the country that family dinner is a way of life for many and not rocket science. But in certain circles, family dinner is totally "in the closet" and is some kind of mystery that men and women are reluctant to even discuss. I'm glad Sheryl Sandberg's statements are bringing out more discussion on family dinner so we can talk about the hows and whys to make it a reality. (Some of my own tips are here and Blog for Family Dinner is a great resource for stories about how real families are making it work.)

I applaud Sheryl Sandberg for coming out for family dinner. Will you? The first step to making family dinner a reality is the commitment. Talk with your family about what small steps you could take. Can you try for family dinner 2 or more nights a week? Can you build up from wherever you start? What would it take to put that together? Talking to your boss, doing more meal planning, reducing out some after school or evening commitments? Make the commitment and follow through. Just like you do at work everyday.

NYC Blogger Potluck: All Kind of Families #B4FD (with recipe for Red Cooked Pork)

Way back in February, I had the pleasure to meet with many NYC Bloggers and to celebrate with them at the NYC Chinese New Year Potluck, organized by Jackie Gordon (@divathatateny) and Ken (@HungryRabbitNYC). Because my husband loves Asian food and has made a very nice hobby of learning Asian cooking (nice for me and the whole family), this was a must-attend event for us. We even booked a babysitter.

Even though I'm very belated with writing this post, I realize the blogger potluck story is actually a great match to the "All Kinds of Families" theme on Blog for Family Dinner this month. Potlucks are about making new connections, trying new things, taking leaps in both foods to try and conservations to start. I knew many of the people in the room only from social media, so we were "twitter-friends" or acquaintances at best. Yet, it was a warm and open group of folks, with everyone ready to share a table, talk about their passions, share tips of places to get obscure ingredients or trade stories of great restaurants to try in far-flung corners of New York City.

In the past year, I've been to potluck parties with people of every stripe: with parents from my kids' different schools, with local community gardeners, with close friends and family, and of course, a few blogger parties and cookie swaps, both for fun and charity. Sometimes these gatherings are about solidifying friendships and catching up with old friends; other times, it's awkwardly meeting people you may only have a tenuous connection to. Still, there is something about a communal table that gets people talking, and that's one reason we turn to them as a culture again and again.

I dare say, a blogger potluck is unlike a community or neighborhood potluck in one significant way: the food is a whole lot better! Potluck, by its very definition, is a hit or miss type of meal. Unless you go in with serious organization or a theme, you can easily end up with a buffet of pasta or multiple repetitions of the same appetizer (hummus and chips for dinner, anyone?) And you can almost always count on the desserts outweighing the actual food. You are usually lucky if you have two or three killer cooks contributing to the meal.

Hosting a potluck of food bloggers seriously changes these odds in your favor!  Food bloggers bring their A-game to these affairs, and their dishes can be a signature or a calling card. (Oh I loved your won-tons!). But mostly, just like any community gathering, a blogger potluck is about food, conversation and connections.

I relish any opportunity to sit down with the people who love food and talk about the benefits of family meals, no matter how you define family. My message of the power of "family dinner" is a pretty easy sell with the food blogger crowd. Whether they have children or live alone, whether they cook only at home or also in restaurants, food bloggers understand the power of food and connection.

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We don't usually include daikon, but it was too beautiful at the market to pass up!

So what did we bring to the Asian potluck party? Michael made Red Cooked Pork, adapted from an old, Sichuan cookbook. This is a perfect potluck meal because it tastes better once it sits and it can be served warm, as opposed to piping hot and fresh, which is more typical for Asian cooking. We have had great success serving this at dinner parties, and many non-Asian friends say they have never had anything like it. I think it is a bit of a "meatloaf" type dish though, to Asian foodies. The best compliment of the day (other than the empty pot) was "This tastes just like my mother's!"

Star Anise

Red Cooked Pork
Adapted from Mrs. Chiang's Szechwan Cookbook, by Ellen Schrecker

2 lbs. pork, 2 in cubes (we use pork shoulder)
4-5 medium carrots, peeled and cut into chunks
3 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
1-2 large daikon roots, cut into chunks (or any other root vegetable)
3 scallions, washed and tied together in a bunch
2 inch piece of fresh ginger
5 cloves of garlic, whole, peeled
 2 tablespoons of canola oil (peanut oil is more traditional and can be used, but adds a strong flavor that you may or may not like)
1 tablespoon sugar
4 whole star anise
2 Tablespoons Chinese rice wine
6 Tablespoons soy sauce
3/4 cup water (or chicken stock if you have it)


Heat wok or any pan that can take the heat over a medium flame for 10 seconds, then add the oil.  (For this recipe, we usually use an enameled pot we received as a wedding gift. Traditionally, you'd make a few other dishes as well, so it's nice to reserve your wok for other things.) Let the oil get warm, but not as hot as you would if stir-frying. Add sugar and stir in for 20 seconds to turn it brown, without burning.

Turn up the flame (you want it as hot as you can get it, but work quickly so you don't burn the sugar) and add ginger and pork cubes. Stir-fry them for 1 minute, scoping and stirring them with metal spatula. Add garlic cloves and continue stir-frying for another 1-2 minutes.

Toss in vegetables, including scallions, plus anise, rice wine and soy sauce. Bring liquid to a boil and let cook for 3 minutes, without stirring, (the soy sauce mixture will become very concentrated) then cover the pan and continue cooking pork for 7 more minutes.

Add the stock or water. Bring to a boil over a high flame and boil vigorously for 5 minutes, before covering the pan and lowering the heat. Simmer the pork got 1 hour, until pork is very tender. Can be served immediately or reheated to serve later.

At the Chinese New Year Potluck we served the Red Cooked Pork in a Crock Pot, but we would never cook this is a slow cooker. The meat would get too mushy!

The NYC Chinese New Year Potluck 2012 hosted a truly amazing spread. Check out the full list of dishes here.

    Sichuan Wontons in Red Hot Oil by Margaret Sweet Savory Living

Chinese "Sushi" by Jessica @foodmayhem Food Mayhem

Asian Pulled Pork made with Tiger Beer by Andrea & Jeff @highlowfooddnk http://highlowfooddrink.com 

Many lovely desserts too.... My favorites were Japanese Custard Pudding (sweet) Lillian @sweetsillianah Sweets By Sillianah and Auspicious Walnut Cookies by Ken

Thank you Jackie and Ken for a wonderful potluck! Please visit Ken's website and photo gallery of the event for some "beauty" shots of the day.

Call Me a School Gardens Convert

I have a confession to make. It is hard to publicly admit this but, I think I'm ready and here is goes. I have been skeptical about school gardens. (Gasp! I know). True, I advocate for healthy eating for kids and basically support, any and all strategies to encourage them to eat more fruits and vegetables at school or at home. But I have not been a fan of school gardens (more on that below).  Yet, I have been inspired recently by the work of Stephen Ritz of Green Bronx Machine and by Edible Schoolyard NYC. I dare say I am so impressed that I might become a school garden convert.

(Note: Applications are now being accepted to be an Edible Schoolyard NYC Showcase School. Find more details here. Deadline is soon!) 

School gardens are feel-good stories in the making, for sure. Furthermore, it makes sense that they would make a difference. Gardens provide hand-on lessons that show kids where  carrots come from, "from the earth and not aisle 9 in the grocery store" as Stephen Ritz would say. School gardens provide chances for kids to eat leafy greens that they grew themselves, while learning about science and nature.  And it's hard not to love the images of smiling kids holding up vegetables freshly pulled from the earth, or chomping down on a kale salad for maybe the first time. So what's my issue?

Let it be said that I am a gardener myself, and this maybe why I am skeptical. Gardening is hard, especially in the urban environment with poor soil (often filled with lead and other chemicals) and lack of easy water access. (Water access probably doesn't even cross the minds our suburban garden counterparts.) Gardening can have significant start-up costs. (My grandfather talks about the $300 peach he grew one year. That's how much he invested in caring for the tree that yielded just one fruit.) Gardening, like farming, can be plagued by failure, as it is dependent on so many vagaries in weather and soil that you never know what you are going to get. This is the life of a gardener--thorns as well as roses.

Furthermore, school gardens work against the growing season calendar. Just when the gardens need the most care, school is out for the summer. Just when the plants need the most water, no one is home to water them. In a typical urban schoolyard, the sun beats down on the blacktop and dries up that garden in no time. In my neighborhood in Brooklyn, I have unfortunately seen many a dry and neglected school garden. All these reasons have lead me to be a school garden skeptic.

Recently, at the 2012 TedxManhattan conference,  I learned about a two projects that are restoring my faith in urban school gardening: Green Bronx Machine and Edible Schoolyard NYC.

Stephen Ritz's talk about Green Bronx Machine at TedxManhattan was a true revelation about the power of gardening in young people's lives. If anyone can make you a believer, it is him.  Just watch, enjoy and cheer.




Working in the Bronx, "in the poorest Congressional District in the county," Ritz is not just growing seeds, he is truly growing lives. For him, gardening is a stepping stone to broader skills that the middle and high school students in his school desperately need. I love that his program is not just about "little kids." It is mainly targeted at teenagers who are often overlooked as potential change-agents in their own lives. These are kids that need a break and urban gardening is giving it to them: job skills, math and science skills, the chance to care for something that grows and can be tended for without judgement or fear, and most importantly, an opportunity to see themselves differently. Teenagers are very close to living on their own, making life choices now that will follow them forever, for better or worse. Stephen Ritz's program is showing at-risk kids a path that they perhaps never knew about. They are learning carpentry skills, marketing skills and skills in the kitchen that can help them cook everyday meals for themselves or start a career in culinary arts. Plus these kids, who are at very high risk of dropping out, have an  incentive to come into school everyday because there is something living and growing in that classroom that they care about and are interested in. Plants are not abstract; they are right there, growing in front of you, needing your care. That's a powerful message of hope.

A second project, Edible Schoolyard NYC had caught my attention earlier this year, but I didn't understand the full extent of their programming until recently, when its name came up again and again at TedxManhattan. Based on Alice Waters' famous Edible Schoolyard Project in Berkeley, CA, Edible Schoolyard NYC (@ESNYC) is the first of its kind in New York City and is set in PS216, a Title I elementary school in Gravesend, Brooklyn. Unlike the school graden programs I've seen, Edible Schoolyard doesn't just put in some planters, plant some seeds and call it a day. They have a rich and fully integrated curriculum that teaches kids in an age-appropriate way and incorporates New York State standards of science, math and English. They are in it for the long-haul, setting up a kitchen curriculum, establishing evaluation standards (are kids eating better? are grades improving?) and thinking about how their students will develop from ages 5 to 10, exploring and learning from the garden.


As an advocate of family dinner, Family Cooking Nights and Harvest/Market Days are the parts of the Edible Schoolyard program that excite me the most. It is crucial to connect with parents and get them as excited as the kids are about good food and healthy eating. To truly make a difference, school garden programs must work with parents so that the lessons from school come home. No one wants that kale salad a child enjoyed at school to be the first and last of his life. That salad should be the first of many and part of a long-lasting change for the whole family at mealtimes. School gardens can start a dialogue between parents and kids, spurring the kids ask for vegetables at the grocery store, not just junk food.


Edible Schoolyard NYC is expanding to have showcase schools in all five boroughs of New York and will provide this incredible program at no-cost to the schools. The exciting news is that applications are being accepted now for Title I schools in the Bronx, Queens, Manhattan and Staten Island. If you know a school that could benefit, please pass it on. (My kids' public schools are not eligible as they are in Brooklyn, otherwise I might be keeping this to myself!)

Learn more about the fabulous program at Edible Schoolyard and spread the word about their new grant, deadline February 28, 2012. 

You can support the wonderful work of either Stephen Ritz, Bronx Green Machine by buying a cool T-shirt or Edible Schoolyard NYC with a donation. 

The Power of Parents in "Changing the Way We Eat"

Last Saturday (01.21.12) was the 2nd TEDxManhattan conference: Changing the Way We Eat and I was honored to be in the audience. I learned so much, met many amazing people and, as cliche as it sounds, I was truly inspired. My goal in attending was to try to get a handle on how parents and family dinner can fit into the bigger conversation about changing the food system. It's not too far a stretch, really. Laurie David, noted environmental activist and author of The Family Dinner book was the host again this year. She argued eloquently at last year's event that family dinner can indeed be an important step in the right direction for systemic change. I feel like parents are an untapped resource in the battle for better eating, better nutrition and a better food system.

The TedxManhattan talks were live streamed that day and there were over 4,000 viewing parties all over the world. Twitter followers can find many great quotes from the day under the #TEDxMan hashtag (Here's one compilation from Buckybox on Storify.) The actual talks are set to be posted online within a month or so. In the meantime, over the next few posts, I'm going to share my thoughts and big "take-away" messages.

Big Take-away #1: The Consumer
Many speakers talked about how the consumer could or would lead the way in changing the food system. By demanding high quality food, by being more knowledgeable about where food comes from and by understanding the true costs of food, consumer demand could help "move the market" so that healthier foods would be more available. I totally agree. (Statistics on the growing market for organics alone are here.) Yet, no one came out and talked about who the most powerful consumers in this game are: the parents.

Let's make it clear about who our consumer audience is for the good food movement and reach out accordingly. Families, by and large, spend more money at the grocery store than any other segment and are a huge market. Parents (and kids) are the targets for multi-billion dollar advertising campaigns, mainly pushing overprocessed, unhealthy foods. There is a huge tidal-wave of misinformation that we have to combat. There are many factors in the childhood obesity epidemic, but the proliferation of fast-food, kid-food, and sugary soda and drinks aimed at kids and teens are a huge part of the problem. Parents must be engaged and enlightened on their role in demanding better food choices. Parents should not be the "elephant in the room," but instead empowered to be the first line of defense.

Two people at the conference did talk about parents directly, although one was just on video: Urvashi Rangan from the Consumer Union and Jamie Oliver in his Ted Big Wish Award talk (February 2011).

Urvashi Rangan, a parent herself, made a persuasive and impassioned case for how food labels need to be better regulated. Consumers do read labels and generally want to purchase healthier food, but they are often confused by labels, and rightly so (from Fooducate). As Rangan presented, the term "natural" means nothing, but some parents think it does and even report thinking "natural" is better than "organic." Organic is not a perfect label, she reasoned, but hundreds of pages of federal standards are behind it. We need more clarity.

Update: Urvashi's Rangan's TedxTalk added 2.13.12



So, parents do care, but are easily tricked. (Not to suggest that parents are stupid or uneducated, it's that millions of dollars goes into the "science" of misinformation.)  In my experience, even well-educated parents can fall for the "Pop-Tart" trap. Almost every parent knows that pop-tarts are a "treat" at best. But it's easy to think "Hey the label says 'Made with Real Fruit,' how bad can it be?" Or maybe a parent might think, "Oh, these have been improved and are healthier now." Labels should be helping consumers, not setting them up for a bad-food trap.

I fell in love with Jamie Oliver all over again seeing his talk on the big screen of the TEDx stage, even though I've seen it before. Singing to the choir with me obviously, but it is a pity and a shame that we can't get home-cooking more in favor. Family meals can be at the core of widespread change. "Mums and dads," as Jamies would say, have got to realize they they are part of this change movement. He actually has a movement afoot. If you haven't heard about it, sign up here.

I'll leave you with Jamie's impassioned speech. What do you think about the power of parents in the good food fight?

Family Dinner and "Changing the Way We Eat" TEDxManhattan Conference 2012

I'm honored to have been chosen to participate in the TEDx Manhattan conference "Changing the Way We Eat" this weekend, January 21, 2012. (It's a bit crazy that a "real food" conference would be so popular they have to select who can attend!) I'll just be in the audience, but my goals are to learn, to connect, and to represent the perspective of regular families who are trying to do the best they can.

I firmly believe that the dinner table can be at the center of change, both for your own family and for the world. (I know, grand thinking.) I've written about this before, but today I want to hear from you:  What questions or thoughts would you raise with the audience or presenters of the TEDxManhattan conference if you had the chance? What would you say about the role of parents or educators in improving access to good food or changing viewpoints? How would you "connect the dots" between family dinner and the food system?

I'm taking inspiration from the title of the conference itself: Changing the Way We Eat. Change begins with the way we eat: how and when we eat, preferably around a table at home. This stands alongside the broader issues of changing the food system: what we eat and how it got to our kitchen, our table, our plate, or our take-out bag.

What do you think? Please share in the comments below or join my Facebook page.

You can watch the conference Live-streamed at home or, even better, there are TEDx viewing parties all over the country where you can connect to people in your area and discuss these issues.

Can Family Dinner "Trend" in 2012?

The year started off right as family dinner was cited by The Hartman Group as a leading trend for 2012. I am all for "rediscovering" family meals as a simple but powerful step toward better health and wellness. It is what I truly believe in and advocate for everyday. Yet, I have to think: How can we make "family dinner" a real trend, not just an empty marketing slogan?

First, let's keep it real and inspire and support families to make this commitment to family meals, not just set up more guilt or blame for busy families. Just start where you are and resolve to make it work for your family, even if you have to start with super-small steps. Time at the Table has a family dinner pledge you can take and just once a week is a starting point!

With that in mind, I am proud to join with Blog for Family Dinner as we encourage families to recommit to family meals in the new year. B4FD will be posting articles all month to inspire you and give advice about how to make family meals a meaningful, and manageable, and part of your life.

A few more places to find New Year's inspiration:

• Spirit Magazine (the in-flight magazine of SouthWest airline) has a great article, Tell Me Something, with lots of fun tips and advice on starting the new year out right, including a long quote from me about the benefits of family dinner. Scroll down for section: Is there a Simple Way to Keep My Family Happy and Healthy?

• The Lunch Tray, Bettina Elias Siegel: My 2012 Food Resolutions

• New Year, New Beginnings on Family Health Habits, Guest Blog by Connie Evers, TruthOnHealth.org

• She Know Parenting: Family New Year's Resolutions

• New Year's Resolutions for Your Family, About.com Tween Guide by Jennifer O'Donnell

Please share any posts or ideas about recommitting to family dinner in the new year in the comment section or on the Facebook pages for EatDinner.org or Blog for Family Dinner. We are creating a broad community to chat about these issues and would love to hear your voice.

Happy New Year and here's to a happy and healthy 2012 with a "family dinner" at every table!

A Year in Family Dinner

I'm thrilled to look back on this year and realize that it's been a busy year for family dinner. The topic of family dinner has been in the news more than ever. It has been profiled as a way to promote healthy and enjoyable eating at the table, which may in turn help prevent childhood obesity and eating disorders. Family dinner has been touted as one solution to social disconnection among teens and tweens and a way to reduce bullying, alcohol and drug use in this group. Perhaps most importantly, the ongoing topic of family dinner has been a reminder that it is a great way to re-connect with the people in our lives on a regular and meaningful basis. I'm grateful to have been a small part of this family dinner movement!

Here are a few family dinner highlights from the past year:

• The Family Dinner Book by Laurie David was published late last year. It really inspired a nation-wide conversation about the benefits of family meals. The weekly Family Dinner Table Talk on The Huffington Post has helped provide great conversations for family dinners through the year.
• EatDinner.org (my organization) launched a Family Dinner Survey in the Spring of 2011 and has had over 500 respondents. The more we learn about what really works for busy families, the better we can promote and encourage the commitment to family dinner. Some preliminary results are here.
• Blog for Family Dinner was created as a collaboration of Billy Mawhiney, Time at the Table, Kathleen Cuneo, Dinner Together and myself. In the month of September 26 to October 24, 2011, we had over 30 writers contribute stories and advice about family dinner. It has been great to connect with a community of bloggers from all different backgrounds who all agree on the importance of family dinner.
• CASA's Annual Family Day received wide attention, and was profiled on ABC news. CASA updated their annual study about the effect of family dinner to prevent substance abuse among teens. The new study added detailed questions on frequency of family dinner, the quality of family relationships and likelihood of teens using alcohol and illegal drugs.
• Food Day, founded by CSPI, was a nationwide event October 24, 2011 that encouraged us to "Eat Real America!" Blog for Family Dinner was proud to be part of its NYC Times Square event.

Other great organizations that highlighted family dinner this year:
Prevent Obesity

The Family Dinner Project at Harvard University

The Kids Cook Monday

Other Food Policy News:
Andy Bellatti of Small Bites put together an exhaustive (and a bit depressing) Year-end Round-up of Food Policy News. Worth a look.

Not a Year-end Review, but some recent links from one of my Favorite bloggers
The Lunch Tray by Bettina Elias Siegel